Nobody wants to scare people away, right? So let's have a little class on how we should behave.
Do.....
...say hello when a new person comes to your church.
...ask if they are new before you start introducing them to the lay of the land. (I once had a woman show me the confessional and the bathroom, as well as tell me our priest's schedule, never giving me the chance to tell her I'd been going there for 25 years -- just to the later mass. She did a great job otherwise, though. If I'd been new, I would have come back.)
...ask if they found a bulletin or the mass schedule.
...ask about their family or whatever. Find something you can chat about for a minute. (Only a minute, they may be starving or something and you don't want to hold them captive.)
...invite them to any upcoming social events at the church. (As long as the food's good.)
...SMILE. In a non-creepy way, please.
Don't....
...ignore them and hope they go away. Unless you are an awful person and would scare them away if you did talk to them. Under those circumstances, it's ok to let other people handle this duty.
...start in with a list of parish rules. Chapel veils and modesty, etc. are important, but let the priest take care of that, or let them know they are welcome and wanted before weeding out small misunderstandings.
...embarrass them. I know, I touched on modesty once. Nothing irks me more than someone coming to mass wearing something that should be illegal, but once they are there, chances are they will notice that nobody else is dressed that way, and will be more careful next time. If not, we can deal with it then. If they walk out of the bathroom with their skirt tucked into their drawers and their bootie hanging out, or some other "accidental immodesty", you are allowed to say something if you are quiet about it. (I had to do this once, and I was more embarrassed than the woman flashing everyone.)
...say "bless your heart". I have heard that this makes people feel judged.
...look at them funny. Especially if they don't go to Communion. A lot of people I have brought to mass have never come back because they felt like people were staring at them when they didn't get up for Communion. I'm sure this wasn't the case, and they probably just felt singled out, but this may be something to watch out for.
That's all I have for now. If anyone has anything to add, please comment. I have never been to a new church, and I really stink at welcoming new people, so any suggestions are helpful.
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